What is a marriage proposal and what is an engagement?
What exactly is an engagement, and how does it differ from a proposal? Let’s clarify the terms. In many people’s minds, a proposal is the same as an engagement, but this is not the case.
Asking for a girl’s hand in marriage is now a very rare occurrence; it lives on mainly in folk traditions, though few people still observe the custom. According to Hungarian custom, before a prospective groom asks for the hand of his beloved, it is customary for him to visit her parents and ask her father for her hand in marriage. He must assure the parents that his intentions towards their daughter are serious.
If there has been a proposal, then the engagement can follow. If there hasn’t been one – and this is more common these days – then the journey towards saying ‘I do’ begins straight away with the engagement.
During the engagement, the man asks the woman to be his wife. Beyond her words of consent, a wearing a wedding ring It also symbolises the promise that one day the couple will be united and spend the rest of their lives together.
When should the engagement take place?
An engagement is a complex process which is unique to every couple’s life and, ideally, cannot be repeated.
The purpose of an engagement is to express the intention of two people to bind their lives together for ever. An engagement is a slightly less formal commitment, a bridge between dating and full commitment, and marriage. The couple also use a ring to symbolise their promise of eternal togetherness.
But how can one tell that the time has come?
In the past, when traditions, customs and values were completely different, and had a different impact on people’s lives, an engagement was, after a certain time, an almost inevitable milestone; there was simply no question as to when the time would come.
Things have changed since then; there is now much greater variation in terms of who marries whom, when, and under what circumstances. And that’s perfectly fine – we live in a different world. We have to accept everyone’s views on this matter.
It must be emphasised that there is no right answer as to when to get engaged. It’s different for everyone. Some couples get engaged after only a short time, others decide to do so after one or two years, whilst for some it takes quite a long time to happen, It is impossible to rank any of these situations. The time for an engagement comes when the couple feels it is right.
How should I propose? Engagement ideas
You’ve decided to propose to your partner, you’ve chosen the ring – the time has come; there’s nothing left to do but pop the question! But where and how should you do it?
When planning your engagement, you should aim to create a day and a moment in which your partner feels completely at ease. We’re all different: some of us are romantic, some are wild, and others are more reserved. A romantic girl deserves a completely different kind of engagement to a free spirit.
There’s no such thing as a tried-and-tested formula for an engagement, but there are some pointers and ideas that can help you get started on planning your big moment.
A traditional engagement
The classic proposal where he gets down on one knee. You can’t really go wrong with this 🙂 All you need is you, an engagement ring and your partner. The classic proposal is simple and brilliant. Choose a lovely venue, plan a full day’s programme around it, and voilà! If your partner isn’t keen on drawing attention to themselves or doing anything too out of the ordinary, then this is spot on.
An extreme engagement
If you and your partner are mad about extreme sports, thrills and adventures, then there’s no question that your engagement should be extreme too.
Let’s look at a few examples of this:
An engagement with balloons
Take a hot-air balloon ride. Propose to your partner here.
An engagement in the air
Go on a sightseeing flight and propose to your beloved whilst you’re up in the air. It’s almost certain that even a simple sightseeing flight will be a long-lasting, if not eternal, experience, but this way you’re guaranteed to remember this occasion for the rest of your lives.
An engagement combined with travel, hiking and extreme sports
Go on an activity that you both really enjoy. Whether it’s a trip to a faraway place, rock climbing, rafting or just a simple day out, if you’re both keen on the activity and you find the right moment, your engagement is sure to be unforgettable.
A festive engagement
Many people link their engagement to a particular festive occasion, most often Christmas. Not everyone is keen on cramming so many events together, but it’s true that an engagement set against a snowy backdrop, with a Christmas tree and the crunch of gingerbread, in a truly festive atmosphere, can be very beautiful and memorable.
A few tips for a Christmas engagement:
An Engagement Under the Mistletoe
Mistletoe is a very important part of winter celebrations. Mistletoe is used to steal a kiss, which is why it’s the perfect choice for a Christmas engagement.
White Engagement
There’s nothing more beautiful than a landscape blanketed in snow. Go for a walk with your partner to one of your favourite spots, and propose to them there, as you tread on the crunching snow amongst the trees covered in frost.
An exciting engagement
Ask the big question using a string of fairy lights. It looks brilliant, and your partner is sure to appreciate your efforts.
A creative engagement
A creative girl deserves a creative engagement. And the reverse is also true: if you’re creative, don’t be afraid to show off that talent when you get engaged.
A few ideas for a creative engagement:
A lovely engagement
Order something you both love. Make sure the big question is written inside the box.
A board game with a little twist
If you both enjoy playing board games, this is a brilliant idea. Hide a card that says ‘Will you marry me?’ amongst the rest of the board game accessories. It’s sure to be a surprise. 🙂
It’s written in the stars
If either of you is an astronomer, or if this is simply a hobby you both share, then your engagement can be a star-studded affair – and if you play your cards right, it could even be a five-star event.
Hide a „Will you marry me?” a piece of paper with the words written on it. The background on the paper should be the Moon or a planet, so that it looks as though you’ve written the big question on them.
How is an engagement announced?
According to tradition, the bride’s parents should be the first to be told the big news, followed by the groom’s parents, and then, in turn, close family members, friends, colleagues, and so on.
It should be added that we are living in the 21st century, so this order serves more as a guideline than as a model to be followed at all costs. Everyone’s family is different, and everyone has a different idea of what constitutes a family, so if you and your partner have a different view on the order of events, feel free to announce your engagement first to those you want to tell first.
How can an engagement be registered?
In the past, people used to announce their engagement by letter. It’s fair to say that this is now an outdated method.
Share your joy over the phone with those who are very close to you. These days, the most common way to keep less close acquaintances informed is via social media.
In addition, many people also hold an engagement party, a reception or a dinner, at which they announce the news and celebrate the occasion together with their family and friends.
What are an engagement banquet, an engagement party and an engagement dinner?
Engagement banquets and parties are usually held for two reasons. One of these is when the bride and groom’s parents do not yet know one another, so an engagement lunch or dinner provides an excellent opportunity for the two families to get to know one another better.
Another reason is if the couple want to have an engagement party because they’d like to spend a fun evening with their friends to celebrate their engagement.
An engagement reception is a lunch or dinner held amongst close family, at which the couple formally announce their engagement. Traditionally, it is the groom’s parents who invite the bride’s parents to this occasion. Of course, this is not a rule set in stone that cannot be changed these days.
As the name suggests, an engagement party is essentially a party. The couple invites whoever they like to the party, but in most cases they simply enjoy a pleasant, cheerful evening in the company of their friends.
These days, the „engagement dinner” – a tradition that originated in America – is also becoming increasingly popular. This is a dinner combined with a party, where the couple celebrate their engagement surrounded by their families and friends. The engagement dinner can actually be seen as a rehearsal for the big day, as it is almost like a smaller wedding.
What is appropriate to give as an engagement present, and when?
It is customary to give an engagement gift if one is invited to an engagement banquet or an engagement party or for an engagement dinner.
An engagement present doesn’t have to be as big a deal as that as a wedding present. On such occasions, it is enough to delight the engaged couple with a small, symbolic gift.
An engagement present could be a high-quality champagne or another fine drink, one yearbook, a wine tasting, or a workshop voucher. Apart from these, anything else is an option. If you’re on good terms with the couple, you’re sure to know what would make them happy.
There are also cases where the couple specifically ask that nobody buy them anything to mark their engagement. It is good advice to respect this, the „Sometimes less is more” The saying proves to be true in this case as well.
If, despite the couple’s request, you really want to give them something, then bring a bottle of drink, some cakes or biscuits, or a creative, handmade gift to the engagement party.
There are also instances where the couple specifically state what they would like. In such cases, just as at a wedding, it is customary to give them what they have asked for.
The engagement period: how long is it between the engagement and the wedding?
The engagement period begins with the proposal and lasts until the couple say ‘I do’, that is, until the moment of the wedding ceremony. During the period between these two events, the wedding planning The couples are concentrating.
In most cases, this period tends to be a year, but there’s no set rule – quite the opposite, in fact! It’s important that everything happens the way the couple wants it to; there’s no need to rush or put off the wedding – plan it with your partner so that the pace suits you both. If a year is too long and you’d like to get married sooner, then go ahead and do it sooner; if it’s too short and you don’t want to rush things, then have the big day later.
There are no set rules on how long a couple can remain engaged. How long after the engagement the wedding takes place is always up to the couple. Under no circumstances should you feel bad if your wedding takes place sooner or later than usual after the engagement. Just do what’s best for you and your partner.
Frequently Asked Questions
There are no set rules to follow these days. It varies from couple to couple as to when each partner reaches the stage in a relationship where they’re ready to take this step. The important thing is not to rush into it or put it off simply because of social pressure or opposition from family or friends.
Traditionally, the engagement should first be announced to the bride’s parents, then to the groom’s parents, followed by close friends and so on. However, there is no need to stick to this strictly. The couple usually announce the news during an engagement party, a banquet or a dinner.
It usually takes a year between the engagement and the wedding. However, there are no set rules about how this should happen. If you and your partner would like to get married sooner, then do so sooner; if later, then hold the big day later.
