There are as many wedding customs as there are weddings! Of course, this hasn’t always been the case; in the past, a great many customs and superstitions influenced wedding traditions, and, naturally, even today, wedding customs vary considerably from country to country.
In the following, we’ll be exploring wedding traditions from today and the past, as well as those from other countries, spiced up with a few interesting facts!
Let’s start at the beginning – with the engagement!
In keeping with traditional Hungarian customs, it is customary for the groom to visit his fiancée’s parents and ask her father for her hand in marriage, thereby reassuring the bride’s family that his intentions are serious! The happy news must then be shared with the bride’s family, and is finally made official during an „announcement” lunch or dinner. Many people still observe this custom today, but it can no longer be said to be common practice.
Best man
It used to be an essential part of Hungarian weddings. Even today, it is still quite common for a best man to be asked to officiate at the wedding, but this tradition is now far less prevalent. These days, it is more often wedding planners or the couples themselves who are organising their weddings.
In accordance with old Hungarian traditions, the best man invited the guests and organised and co-ordinated the entire wedding. In those early days, this was a huge task, as weddings used to last for three days at a time. It was not uncommon for the entire village to attend the wedding. The „wedding procession” – which was intended to take the bride from her parents’ house to the groom’s – thus often became very long, with a whole village’s worth of a colourful procession following the bride along this route.
Stag party
In the past, this event served a slightly different purpose than it does today. The aim of the whole event was to drive out evil, malevolent spirits. The men made a tremendous racket, as they believed this would enable them to chase the spirits away. Today, this event is a mix of amusing tasks and, of course, the inevitable drinking that goes with it; it no longer carries any religious or spiritual significance.
Rings
The exchange of rings is also an old tradition; until the church wedding, couples wore their rings on their left hand, and afterwards on their right hand. This is still the custom today.
„Something old, something new, something blue and something borrowed”
It was customary among brides to, at weddings, „something old, something new, something blue and something borrowed” thing they wore. This, too, had a symbolic meaning, the „old” which referred to a life as a spinster, the „new” the start of a new life after marriage. The „blue” was intended to symbolise the eternal fidelity of brides. The „borrowed” alluded to love. This custom can still be seen from time to time at weddings today.
Rice-throwing
This custom can still be observed today, not only here but in many other parts of the world as well. It is essentially an Asian custom. As they leave the temple, the couple are showered with rice. This is meant to symbolise wealth and fertility.
Bride-snatching
This is an old custom that can still be seen at certain weddings today. Nowadays, it’s just a bit of fun, but in the past it was taken more seriously. According to superstition, if a bride was successfully abducted on her wedding day, then the groom didn’t really deserve her. Furthermore, if the bride-snatching was successful, the „kidnapper” would take the girl off somewhere. During this time, the groom had to try at least to keep hold of the bridal bouquet – if he’d failed to keep hold of his bride in the first place. There was a lot at stake here too, as if he lost that as well, he would have to pay the potential costs of the „kidnapping” himself. If he managed to keep an eye on the bouquet, then the „kidnapper” would cover these costs.
Bouquet toss
This is a wedding custom that is still practised today! After the wedding, the bride throws the bouquet over her shoulder, and the unmarried girls lined up behind her try to catch it. It is believed that whoever catches the bouquet will be the next to get married!
Old wedding customs, which most people are no longer even familiar with
The bride was offered a glass of wine at the groom’s house. After drinking the wine, she threw the glass over her shoulder. This, along with the smashing of plates later in the wedding, was an important part of the event; it was believed that the more successfully these were smashed, the better and more fruitful the marriage would be.
The bride would usually give her husband a gift. The gift was generally linked to a folk belief; for example, it was customary to give three or seven handkerchiefs, as these were considered to be lucky numbers.
The men were allowed to dance with the bride in return for paying a token sum. The money was pinned to the girl’s dress. On some occasions, the payment was placed in shoes left in the middle of the dance floor.
Superstitious wedding customs
Old superstitions, which were an integral part of a wedding and the preparations leading up to it. These superstitions either symbolically highlighted the importance of the event or were linked to traditional customs in a light-hearted way. Some of these customs still pop up from time to time at Hungarian weddings, hen parties or stag parties, though it must be said, of course, that they often have a slightly different meaning now or are simply done for a laugh.
Spicy dishes
At wedding receptions, it was customary to serve dishes with plenty of paprika; in the past, paprika was considered to have magical powers.
Weather!
These days, everyone is still delighted by good weather at weddings – mainly, of course, because the wedding outfits won’t get muddy, and there’s no need to worry about how the wedding will actually go ahead at that exorbitantly expensive outdoor venue! In the past, however, the weather had another significance: if, for example, the sun was shining brightly, then everyone was certain that the marriage would be long-lasting and happy!
As well as the sunshine, the rainbow, as a weather phenomenon, also held significance. It was believed that if the groom caught sight of this marvellous phenomenon, he would be lucky and could look forward to an easy, long and happy life!
Rosemary
At weddings, both the bride and groom wore rosemary: the bride usually in her wreath, and the groom pinned to his jacket. Rosemary was regarded as a symbol of eternal fidelity.
Wedding dresses and accessories
There are also many superstitious customs surrounding the wedding dress. One of these is the number of buttons on the dress. It was believed that the bride would spend as many years in a happy marriage with her partner as there were buttons on the dress! Dresses with lots of buttons are the way to go! 😀
A similar superstition is associated with jewellery. Anyone who wore pearls on their wedding day could expect to shed many tears during their marriage, as pearls were known to symbolise tears. No pearls at your weddings, girls!
Given all this, it is hardly surprising that a superstition also arose concerning the veil. The veil could be worn only and exclusively by the bride! If a bridesmaid tried on the veil, it was believed that sooner or later she would seduce the groom!
Bread and salt
At a wedding, tasting the cake is usually the most significant event, as far as the food is concerned, of course. In the past, however, in accordance with superstition, the newlyweds had to each eat a bite of bread with a pinch of salt. According to belief, because they both ate the „for the better” and the „from the bad” …and they’ll stick together through thick and thin throughout their married life!
How to get a garter
The male version of the bouquet toss! This custom has now fallen out of favour, though it may still be seen at a few village weddings. After the wedding ceremony, the groom would remove his wife’s garter and throw it into the crowd of men gathered around him. Whoever managed to catch it was believed to be the next to get married!
+ Interesting facts
Wedding customs from different parts of the world
Although European wedding customs may not all be the same, there are nevertheless one or two general elements that are recognised and observed in almost every country. In the following, however, we will read about customs that are little known, at least within European cultures.
1. The Bell-Breaking Incident in Guatemala
In Guatemala, the reception following the wedding is held at the newlywed husband’s home, where the couple are welcomed by the breaking of a white bell filled with flour, grain and rice. This custom symbolises abundance.
2. Making Indian henna
On the evening before the wedding, the female members of the bride’s family gather, and then a henna artist or a skilled family member paints beautiful designs onto the women’s hands and feet. The designs have spiritual significance; they are symbols of beauty and joy. And it has to be said, these designs are absolutely stunning!
3. Puerto Rico – Doll
In Puerto Rico, there is a very interesting wedding custom: the making of a doll. The doll is modelled on the bride and amulets are attached to it. During the wedding, guests may take the amulets from the doll, in exchange for which they must give money to the newlyweds.
4. Mongolia-„Deel”
At the wedding, both members of the couple „deel-t” wears. The „deel” a traditional patterned dress worn in Mongolia, other Central Asian countries and by various tribes.
Traditional wedding dresses from around the world
1. Ghana
Ghanaian wedding dresses are absolutely stunning! From a European perspective, it’s unimaginable that anyone would wear such dresses on their big day, although these masterpieces of fashion really do look fantastic! 😀 According to Ghanaian customs, the dresses are very colourful and feature a variety of alternating patterns. Every family has its own pattern . The patterns appear intermingled on the bride’s and groom’s outfits, so the patterns of both families are featured on them.
2. Tibet
In Tibet, brides, in keeping with tradition, wear headdresses and colourful dresses on their wedding day. Interestingly, the bride receives her wedding dress from her groom, along with accessories such as the headdress, hair ornaments, etc.
3. Hutsuls
The Hutsuls are a Rusyn ethnographic group living in the Ukrainian Carpathians. Hutsul weddings are very colourful, not only in terms of the costumes, but the wedding itself is also like this, characterised by plenty of dancing, jokes and fun activities.
4. Gora
The Gora region is situated between Kosovo and Macedonia. The people living here are predominantly Muslim, but their traditions also contain many „pagan” elements of various origins. Brides from Gora arrive at their weddings on white horses, to which is usually attached an ornate umbrella made especially for the occasion. In addition, the bride’s face and attire are also extremely ornate.
Interesting Hungarian wedding dresses
1. Matyó
Speaking of interesting wedding dress customs, we must also mention the Hungarian Matyó customs. Matyó brides appear at the wedding in embroidered dresses, usually with many underskirts, and wearing headdresses.
2. Kalotaszeg
In Kalotaszeg, Transylvania, brides’ dresses are ornate and studded with beads. Interestingly, these dresses can weigh as much as 10 kg!
