Every wedding has its own customs, but when it comes to the order of events at a wedding, there are certain steps that must be followed.
A step-by-step guide to a wedding – Civil wedding
Registrar
The registrar is the person who officiates at a civil wedding ceremony; they set the tone for the ceremony, so it is certainly important who this person is. However, the choice of registrar is not entirely up to us. In smaller towns, there may be only one registrar, so there is no question as to who will conduct the ceremony Have a look at this to see the result. In larger towns and cities, the local council where the wedding is to take place keeps a list of the local registrars, and the couple then choose the one they like best from among them!
It’s worth booking a date with the registrars well in advance, as during the busy summer months, for example, it’s quite common for other couples to be planning their weddings at the same time, so a registrar’s diary can fill up quickly!
Elements of a civil wedding
Compulsory:
Yes
Under the relevant laws, a marriage is only recognised once both parties have said ‘I do’. This is, of course, not only a legal requirement but also a romantic one!
Signing the register
Once the „I do’s” have been said, the next mandatory step, as laid down by law, is to sign the marriage register; both the couple and the witnesses must do this! An important point regarding the witnesses is that you must register who your witnesses will be – along with their personal details – several weeks before the wedding! It is therefore worth deciding on your witnesses in good time!
Modular, optional components
Vow
It’s a truly romantic tradition, but it might not be for everyone! You really need to think carefully about whether you want to take this opportunity! Not everyone is a wordsmith; many people find it difficult to express their feelings in this way, and of course there are others who shy away from speaking in front of a crowd, even if the wedding party isn’t huge! However, if you feel that this element is something you need and you have a natural affinity for this sort of thing, go for it – it can make a wedding feel very intimate! It’s important that the couple decide together whether they’d like to do this; don’t force it on your partner if they don’t want to!
Putting on rings
Yes, this isn’t a compulsory part of the ceremony! There are many different customs regarding the rings: some people wear them before the civil ceremony, whilst others prefer to ceremonially slip the ring onto their partner’s finger as part of the ceremony, and so on. In any case, a decision needs to be made in good time on whether we’d prefer to share this moment just the two of us, or as part of the ceremony in front of everyone!
Music
Music is very important to many people, whilst others feel less of a need for it! In any case, one thing is certain: a well-chosen piece of music can really set the mood for the ceremony! At a civil wedding, we have the option of choosing music for the processional and for during the ceremony. It’s a good idea to request instrumental music for the duration of the ceremony, so that the singing doesn’t make it difficult to hear the registrar’s words!
A welcome to parents and grandparents
This isn’t a compulsory part of the ceremony either, but I think we can speak for everyone when we say how much both the couple and the family appreciate this tradition! A little tip: go up to each person you’d like to greet one by one; that way, you can get some lovely, heart-warming photos of you hugging your grandmother, for example, rather than the picture just showing a crowd of people surrounding the newlyweds. What’s more, greeting people one by one makes for a much more intimate experience for everyone!
To sum up, in addition to the compulsory elements, you can incorporate almost anything into the ceremony, provided, of course, that it remains within the bounds of good taste. The main thing is that, in the end, the couple are left with a ceremony that is meaningful to them and has a lovely atmosphere.
A step-by-step guide to a wedding- Church wedding
Whether they are non-religious or motivated by religious beliefs, many people would like to crown their civil wedding with a church ceremony! Below, you can read about the wedding customs of Hungary’s three largest religions!
Roman Catholic wedding
The simplest arrangement is when both the bride and groom are Roman Catholic! In this case, they must go either to the parish where they live or to another parish of their choice . The latter requires a separate application! It is important that, once you have set the wedding date, you contact the parish quickly, as slots here fill up fast, especially during the summer months!
What documents are required?
-baptismal certificate
-personal
- a document issued in connection with confirmation
Other points regarding Roman Catholic weddings:
Pre-wedding classes
According to the Roman Catholic Church, it is compulsory to go to confession and receive Holy Communion before the wedding, and an understanding of the faith is essential for these. Non-Roman Catholics may only begin marriage preparation after receiving the sacrament of Holy Communion. Roman Catholics, on the other hand, may begin the preparation immediately.
The pre-marriage course itself prepares couples for the sacrament of marriage, for married life and for bringing up children; it also explains the order of the church ceremony, such as the questions asked during the wedding and how to answer them correctly! The priest who celebrates the wedding Mass also conducts the pre-marriage preparation. During this preparation, the priest has the opportunity to get to know the couple, so at weddings he always gives a very personal address tailored specifically to that couple!
What if two people of different faiths want a Roman Catholic wedding?
According to the Roman Catholic faith, this is only permitted if at least one member of the couple is Catholic. The Catholic partner must declare in writing that their children will be raised in accordance with the Catholic faith.
In the event that two people who are not Catholic nevertheless wish to have a Catholic wedding ceremony, they they must complete a preparation programme, which includes religious instruction, followed by reception of the sacrament of baptism; only then can the wedding take place.
The parts of a Roman Catholic wedding
A Catholic wedding, like all others, begins with the procession. The Mass begins with the procession. The wedding vows follow the reading of the Gospel. The couple declare their intention to marry and pledge their fidelity. The priest asks questions, to which they must reply in accordance with the teachings of the Church. The priest blesses the rings, followed by the solemn exchange of rings. Afterwards, the priest and those gathered offer prayers asking that the marriage be blessed by God, followed by the wedding blessing and the closing blessing.
A Reformed wedding
A Reformed wedding is, in essence, a church service to bless the marriage. Unlike in the Catholic faith, the couple are already present as husband and wife; the emphasis is not on the marriage ceremony itself, but on the blessing of the marriage!
Couples can choose which church they would like to receive this blessing in, and must then register with the diocese to which it belongs. It’s worth giving this some thought as soon as possible, as slots are filling up fast!
According to the Reformed faith, the couple must also attend pre-marital classes!
What if two people of different faiths want a Reformed wedding?
In the case of a Reformed wedding, one member of the couple must be of the Reformed faith!
What documents are required?
-marriage certificate
-personal
Lutheran wedding
During a Lutheran wedding, the couple kneel and take their vows in turn, and at the end of the ceremony the pastor blesses the marriage!
If both members of the couple are Lutheran, they may notify any pastor – wherever they may be – that they wish to get married! Here too, as with weddings of other faiths as detailed above, it is worth noting that this intention must be declared in good time!
The couple are required to attend pre-marital counselling, although this is a slightly different sort of session to the previous two cases. The couple-to-be have a few conversations with the vicar; part of this involves them explaining how they envisage the wedding, what sort of decorations and music they would like, and so on.
What if two people of different faiths want a Lutheran wedding?
According to the teachings of the Lutheran Church, marriage is only possible between two people who practise the Christian faith. This means that not both parties need to be Lutheran, but marriage is only possible if the other party has at least been baptised! Otherwise, baptism and confirmation are also possible, provided the couple register at least six months before the wedding date. Interestingly, in the case of a „mixed-faith” couple – that is, if one of them is, say, not Lutheran but Reformed – the wedding can be held in a church of either denomination. It is also possible to involve a Lutheran minister in the ceremony held in a Reformed church!
Interesting fact
The teachings of the Lutheran Church, like those of the Catholic and Reformed Churches, hold that marriage is indissoluble; therefore, it does not regard divorce as acceptable – yet it is still possible to have a second church wedding! The reason for this is that, according to the Lutheran Church, all sins can be forgiven through Christ, and a breach of the marriage vows is included in this. Of course, it is not quite that simple: the divorced party and their new partner must have extensive discussions with the pastor they have approached, who will then decide whether to refuse or agree to perform the second church wedding.
A step-by-step guide to a wedding- The preparations for a wedding and how it unfolds
When is the best time to book, discuss or choose something?
One thing that needs to be made clear right from the start is that you can never start early enough! In what follows, we’ll give a rough idea of when you should start each task!
It’s a good idea to start about a year before the wedding:
-choosing a date
- determination of cost allocation
- selecting and booking a venue
- selecting and booking services (catering, photographer, DJ, band, wedding planner, best man)
- drawing up a guest list
- ordering invitations, or if we’re making them ourselves, then getting started on this
- sending out invitations
- drawing up a planting plan
It’s a good idea to start around 6–10 months before the wedding:
- booking a date for a church wedding
- booking a date for a civil wedding
- choosing clothes, then buying or hiring them
It’s a good idea to start about half a year before the wedding:
- if we want a church wedding and everything is in place for this (as mentioned above), then the start of pre-marital classes
- coming up with a decoration scheme; if we wish to hire a decorator, then choosing one; if not, then we need to start buying everything
It’s a good idea to start about 3–5 months before the wedding:
- finalising the arrangements for the civil ceremony
- things to do for the honeymoon
It’s a good idea to start about 2–3 months before the wedding:
- choosing and ordering a wedding cake
- booking accommodation for guests (if necessary)
- hairdressing and make-up appointments, style consultations
It’s a good idea to start about one month before the wedding:
- to liaise with all service providers once again
- organising stag and hen parties
-final touches, such as adjusting the bride and groom’s outfits to fit
It’s a good idea to start about 1–3 days before the wedding:
- in the case of DIY, i.e. your own decorations, coordinating the final tasks
- if the outfit is hired, collect it from the hire shop
To keep on top of all this, it’s a good idea to keep a to-do list! You can do this in a simple Excel file, but it’s more effective to use a time-management programme! We’d like to recommend one, which you can download from the following link!
Now let’s take a look at the structure of the big day itself! What is the order of the events, what do you need to bear in mind, and roughly how long does each part take? Of course, it goes without saying that this varies from wedding to wedding; what follows is simply a rough guide to help couples with their planning!
A Step-by-Step Guide to a Wedding – The Big Day
Let’s take a look, then, at the key elements that might feature at a wedding; for the sake of simplicity, we’ve arranged them in chronological order, thereby putting together a complete wedding schedule.
10.00–12.00 Hairdresser
You should allow approximately
70–100 minutes for the hairdresser, but it’s still worth allowing for 2
hours in your wedding schedule, to allow for any potential delays!
After the hairdresser’s, let’s grab a bite to eat, and then we can carry on with the programme!
12.30–13.30 Make-up artist
45–50 minutes is usually enough for applying make-up, but let’s allow a little extra time here too!
13.30–15.00. Getting dressed, getting ready, final touches
15.30. Start of the wedding
In this case, we’ve based our plans on a civil wedding, but bear in mind that if your church wedding starts at 15:30, you’ll need to schedule the photo session and the reception for much later!
16.00–17.30 Congratulations, photo session
18.00–20.00 Dinner
Half an hour is enough between the photo session and dinner if the dinner venue is on the same premises; if you have to drive to the venue – in other words, if it’s a long way away – then allow at least an hour between the two!
8.00 pm. Opening dance
20.00–23.30 – Party
23.30–24.00. Ceremonial cutting of the cake
24.00 – Bridal dance
Once the bridal dance is over, let the party begin! There aren’t any must-have elements at a wedding anyway; the main thing is that we are happy with our own wedding!
We hope our article has helped you get a better idea of what a wedding is like, step by step! 🙂
Source of the images: Pinterest
